.d.s.p.

I TIRE OF THIS UTTER GARBAGE

2004-11-30T01:41:00.000-05:00

PLEASE SOMEONE TAKE ME HOME

Please don't expect me to be witty. I don't want to be witty anymore. I will not be the funny monkey. it is tiresome.

I am not here for your enjoyment. I am simply trying to get my shit in order.

Sleeping now.

Point Being?

2004-11-29T23:59:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking about something. No snarky comments, please.

I'm thinking about closing down this blog and opening another one - one that I won't tell anyone about, one that no one I know will read. When I find myself wanting to rant about what's going on in my life, I pause, and realize that many members of my extended family read this (and if they don't actively read it, they at least know where it is).

So what's the plan? Close down .d.s.p. after all this time. Leave it dormant for a while. Start a new blog in a few months, under a new name, in a new place - and tell no-one. If people start reading me again, I'll take it as a sign that my writing's worth reading. Hah. Like I ever *write* anything on here.

So, deliberate away in the comments section. If no one says anything, I'll take that as a go-ahead. But even if that's your opinion, share it.

-Bill

"So, What do you do for a living?"

2004-11-19T02:14:00.000-05:00

Me, I filter Bill Gates' email for him.

The funny thing is the official-looking AP wire report logo at the top. This is news?

Oh, wait, it's just ABC. Scratch that "news" thing.

</bill>

2004-11-06T13:36:00.000-05:00

Open Letter To The Democratic Party: How You Could Have Had My Vote

Makes sense to me.
[EDIT: Before someone jumps on me, I didn't vote for Bush.]
[EDIT: Before someone ELSE jumps on me, I didn't vote for Kerry, either.]
[EDIT: psst. Libertarian.]
-B

Hm.

2004-11-04T10:29:00.000-05:00

from Girls Suck:

"Having a penis is like walking around with a basketball. unless you have a hoop, you're only dribbling and playing with yourself. meanwhile, once you actually find a hoop to play with, there's probably lot of people already there waiting in line. so its either wait in line and hope you don't embarass yourself, or go to the dirtier, skankier courts"

-B

More Perspective

2004-11-02T13:22:00.000-05:00

This just in -

If George W. Bush wins the election, the world will still spin on its axis. Canada will not grant you asylum. If John Kerry wins the election, America will still be America. Australia will not grant you asylum.

People who vote for the other guy aren’t stupid, brainwashed, or evil. They are your friends and family. Someone you love will almost certainly cancel your vote. (My wife cancels out mine.)

If, by some chance, everyone you know votes for the loser it won’t mean the election was stolen. It will only show that you live in a bubble.

Speaking of living in a bubble... I'm gonna go vote now.
-B

Much-Needed Perspective

2004-11-01T16:33:00.000-05:00

The Cure for Election Rage
Slate's five-step program to restore national sanity.
By Rachael Larimore
Posted Friday, Oct. 29, 2004, at 9:02 AM PT

Katherine Harris was nearly run down by a car while campaigning on a street corner in Florida. A man threatened to stab his girlfriend over her promise to vote for John Kerry. Someone fired shots into Bush campaign headquarters in Knoxville, Tenn. Democrats are trashing Bush/Cheney signs nationwide, and Republicans are returning the favor. Lawsuits have been filed challenging an election that hasn't yet taken place.

In the interest of regaining our national sanity, let's take a collective deep breath, count to 10, and repeat after me:

1. First off, you Bush supporters:

"I am voting for a rich white guy who got mediocre grades at Yale and spent much of his time at the secret Skull and Bones society."

Your turn, Kerry supporters:

"I am voting for a rich white guy who got mediocre grades at Yale and spent much of his time at the secret Skull and Bones society."

2. Bush supporters:

"I am voting for a guy who doesn't care enough about what our allies think and goes to war too quickly."

Kerry supporters:

"I am voting for a guy who cares too much about what our allies think and wouldn't go to war quickly enough."

3. Bush supporters:

"I'm voting for a guy who says 'nucular.' "

Kerry supporters:

"I'm voting for a guy who says 'idear.' "

4. Bush supporters:

"The guy I'm voting against is not a wussified French poodle who will make Jacques Chirac the de facto secretary of defense. And, while I may disapprove of his actions after returning from Vietnam, he is not a traitor."

Kerry supporters:

"The guy I'm voting against is not a marionette controlled by Halliburton. And, while I may disapprove of his actions in Iraq, he is not a fascist dictator bent on world domination."

5. Bush supporters:

"America is a nation full of intelligent, hard-working, thoughtful people. Some of them are even voting for John Kerry. America also has its share of rabble-rousing morons. Some of them are, admittedly, voting for George W. Bush. We survived Carter, we survived Clinton. We will survive four years of Kerry."

Kerry supporters:

"America is a nation full of intelligent, hard-working, thoughtful people. Some of them are even voting for George W. Bush. America also has its share of rabble-rousing morons. Some of them are, admittedly, voting for John Kerry. We survived Nixon, we survived Reagan. We will survive four more years of Bush."

I Wish I Had a TV

2004-10-28T17:19:00.000-04:00

Apple - iPod Ashlee Simpson Karaoke Edition:

Just a little while ago, Ashlee Simpson pulled a Milli Vanilli and was caught lip-synching on SNL. What's worse, she blamed it on the band that she hired to make her look legitimate.

Saturday Night "Live". Everything's genuine except the music.

-B

Quick, Cancel the election!

2004-10-26T14:17:00.000-04:00

Elections are messy. Skip the whole thing and just buy your results on eBay.

-B

Yahoo! News - Physics Professor Goes on Rage in Class

2004-10-15T16:26:00.000-04:00

Physics Professor Goes on Rage in Class

Some of Vassar Girl's friends go here.
-B

Workers Nationwide Protest Bush’s Overtime Pay Take-Away

2004-10-08T01:28:00.000-04:00

So. There were "protests" (some violent ones) in 17 cities across the country, involving Bush-Cheney local HQ's being invaded and defaced, and several workers injured. Here's the letter from Congress to Ashcroft:

October 7, 2004

Attorney General John Ashcroft
U.S. Department of Justice
950 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington DC 20530

Dear Attorney General Ashcroft:

This week, in Orlando, Florida, approximately 100 protestors stormed and ransacked the local Bush-Cheney headquarters injuring one campaign staffer who suffered a broken wrist and causing considerable damage.

According to news accounts, similar "protests" occurred yesterday across the country in Miami, FL; Tampa, FL; Kansas City, MO; Dearborn, MI; St. Paul, MN; Independence, MO; and West Allis, WI. All of the "protests" appear to be a coordinated effort by members of a major labor union to intimidate staff and volunteers of the Bush-Cheney campaign. The AFL-CIO took credit on their own website for these protests that included thousands of workers in 17 cities across the country.

In what is apparently one of those coordinated "protests", the Bush-Cheney headquarters in West Allis, Wisconsin was invaded by more than 50 protestors who disrupted campaign activities and intimidated campaign workers and volunteers. According to the Associated Press, over 100 union protestors physically stormed their way into Bush-Cheney headquarters in Miami, Florida and intimidated volunteers inside. In what could be a related incident, although the perpetrator has not yet been identified, the Knoxville, TN Bush-Cheney office was hit by gun-fire on Tuesday morning, shattering the plate-glass front doors before volunteers showed up for work.

These attacks are not conduct protected by the First Amendment. The activities were carried out on the same day throughout the country, apparently organized by the same national organization. The lack of any notice and the pattern suggest a plan to intimidate volunteers who were supporting their candidate in the upcoming Presidential campaign.

Because these coordinated invasions violate the laws protecting the civil rights of American citizens, we request you direct the appropriate investigative unit within the Department of Justice to promptly initiate an investigation. We strongly urge that the investigation include whether federal laws have been broken, including those addressing civil rights, conspiracy, racketeering, and others protecting the rights to campaign and vote.

Most importantly, we strongly urge you to depose the participants in these attacks, and to gather any evidence regarding a possible ongoing conspiracy to launch more attacks. Those depositions are urgent, as any delay may lead to destruction of evidence that could lead to identification of those who planned and coordinated the attacks, and who should be brought to justice.

Please respond to this letter no later than October 12 with regard to what action will be taken, where it will be taken, and by which element within the Department of Justice.

In addition, we ask that you work with state law enforcement agencies in investigating a series of voting irregularities including forgeries in voter registration forms, casting simultaneous ballots in different states (double voting), and absentee voter fraud. Such activities disenfranchise those who properly register to vote and cast valid ballots.

The right to vote is essential to our democracy. The threat of intimidation and violence to those exercising this right is the antithesis of how a law-abiding and civilized nation conducts itself. Please immediately ensure that those who wish to be involved in the political process can exercise their constitutional rights without fear. All Americans, no matter whom they chose to vote for, deserve to be able to fully participate in this process without fear of intimidation or retaliation.

Sincerely,
(Signed by nearly 50 members of Congress)

I could not believe this, so I looked on the AFL-CIO website, and what did I find?

You read it.

Christ.

-B

Blech.

2004-10-05T01:01:00.000-04:00

I don't feel too terribly good about being me right now, for several reasons.

1. My hair looks stupid. I need to get it trimmed, badly, and I don't trust any of the places around here to do it. My friends have come out of local barbershops looking like (a) Marines or (b) Monkeys.

2. I don't have enough clothes. I have something like 5 pairs of serviceable pants, which is entirely inadequate. I should not have to wear a variation on the same thing every week. That's goddamn ridiculous. Plus, I'm sure someone besides me has noticed by now. "Oh, look, it's pinstripe shirt day. Bill must be doing laundry tomorrow." I need more of everything, and can't afford anything. At all. That includes cigarettes and the occasional decent meal.

3. I am a total, irredeemable dork. That should speak for itself.

4. I don't know where "home" is. Dad and Linda moved to Oklahoma, which I've never been to in my life. That can't be home. I don't live there. Vassar is pretty transient, seeing as how I live in a different room every year. Mom's house? I'm never there. That's out. Which leaves... nowhere. I have no home. Wonderful.

5. I'm listing this shit. What the fuck is that? It's a list of why I'm not happy. Why can't I just say it? Do I have to be this anally organized?

Right. Anyway. I have class tomorrow morning so I guess I should sleep. Goodnight, all three of you. Hope you enjoyed this look into what Bill hates about Bill. I certainly didn't.

-b

Fine Art in Unexpected Forms

2004-09-27T21:22:00.000-04:00

Pen and Ink Art of Dave Archambault - and by pen and ink, he means Bic pen, and that's all.

Incredible.
-B

Loudon Wainwright

2004-09-25T17:41:00.000-04:00

on Loudon Wainwright. Fascinating.

-B

2004-09-25T17:13:00.000-04:00

Yes, I'm still alive.

-B

What do you know.

2004-09-18T15:39:00.000-04:00

AccordionGuy has a MeFi account.

-B

Coming Soon to a Dorm Room Near You!

2004-09-13T20:48:00.000-04:00

Trailers for Everyday Life

I feel like I should add one, but I'm not feeling clever at the moment, so I'll try again later.

-B

Now You See It...

2004-09-13T20:45:00.000-04:00

...Now you don't.

The rise and subsequent (ahem) drop in popularity of thong underwear.

Don't ask me why I'm linking. Don't ask me why this is in the NYT. And the first person to leave a comment about "isn't there a war going on?" gets a cookie.

-B

WWJD?

2004-09-12T19:56:00.000-04:00

Jesus Plays Halo

A button by my friend Ramón down the hall, who I play Halo with when Lulu's not looking.

Also check out his site at Republic of Venice

-B

If Only She Lived Next Door.

2004-09-09T21:52:00.000-04:00

Who is the Fiction Bitch?

The premier source of negative literary feedback on the internet.

Doesn't negative feedback discourage rather than nurture the creative process?

Yes, and that's precisely the point. The Fiction Bitch doesn't want to encourage new writers. She wants to weed out terrible writers before they go on to bore millions of innocent publishing house interns to tears. If you suspect you are a lousy writer, the Fiction Bitch can remove all doubts, thus freeing you for other, more productive pursuits.

Sounds fun.
-B

More from McSweeney's

2004-09-05T22:11:00.000-04:00

Saddam Hussein, Master of the Limerick.

-B

Blogging Writ Large (and x-rated)

2004-09-05T22:09:00.000-04:00

Blog Interrupted is a WaPo article on Jessica Cutler, a Senator's intern who ran a blog about the six men she was sleeping with (some married, some paying for said encounters) and lost her job/boyfriend/privacy over it.

Some think she's great. Some think she's a whore. And then, there's some deeper analysis that touched a nerve, at least with me:

Feminist author Naomi Wolf ... says modern sexual conduct offers a window into what's been gained and lost in the nation's values revolution. The sexual revolution, now stripped of much of its feminist political ideology, has left legions of young women free but confused. "I think the tipping point came three or four years ago with the first generation to grow up with the Internet," Wolf says. "They were daughters of feminists. The feminist message of autonomy got filtered through a pornographized culture. The message they heard was just go for it sexually.

"What is gained is they totally reject the double standard and believe they are entitled to sexual exploration and sexual satisfaction," Wolf says. "The downside is we've raised a generation of young women -- and men -- who don't understand sexual ethics like: Don't sleep with a married man; don't sleep with a married woman; don't embarrass people with whom you had a consensual sexual relationship. They don't see sex as sacred or even very important anymore. That's been lost. Sex has been commodified and drained of its deeper meaning."

The bolded sentence is the important part (at least, I think so). To most people my age - hell, to most people under 28 - sex doesn't mean anything anymore. It's just recreation. They don't see it as special, or beautiful, or exceptional any more. And that's sad. Just sad.

-B

Ahem.

2004-09-05T12:58:00.000-04:00

subversive cross stitch

-B

Be Glad you don't live in England

2004-08-30T10:25:00.000-04:00

An article equating air pollution in England and cigarette inhalation - apparently, air quality is so poor that in Oxford, just breathing the air is equivalent to smoking 61 cigarettes a day.

I'll take Poughkeepsie, thank you.

-B

Be one with Idaho.

2004-08-29T20:02:00.000-04:00

Bonsai Potato - Zen Without the Wait!™

Since my bonsai tree died, this is looking more and more attractive. And I can't kill it, as it's already technically dead.

-B

Break my Body

2004-08-28T11:48:00.000-04:00

..hold my bones, hold my bones.

-b

...

2004-08-27T18:00:00.000-04:00

Logging Terms You Wouldn't Want to Use at a Debutante Ball

-B

The best. game. ever.

2004-08-27T14:00:00.000-04:00

dear catastrophe waitress

-B

Single Japanese Women - This is your lucky day.

2004-08-26T14:31:00.000-04:00

Man Pillows - instead of having a boyfriend, you get a pillow with an arm on it to cuddle with. But he won't stay out late or insult you.

I would like to go on record as saying that he won't take you out to dinner, either.

-B

This is about as direct as it gets...

2004-08-26T13:07:00.000-04:00

Response to a DMCA lawsuit threat - It seems dry at first, but wait until you read that last line. Killer.

-B

Photos that I could never take

2004-08-26T11:55:00.000-04:00

Bluejake takes pictures all over New York, and sometimes LA, but not much.

But they're amazing.

-B

Run and hide!

2004-08-23T09:55:00.000-04:00

The freshmen are here!

AHHHH!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get paid to help them move in.

-B

A deluge of posts today.

2004-08-22T20:10:00.000-04:00

This details an interesting story. A chinese man kidnaps two kids and demands ransom before their release. A chinese cop leans out the next-door window and shoots him twice in the head. He falls five stories.

As if this wasn't enough, the kidnapper is placed in a coffin and sent to the crematorium, where they hear him groan. He's still alive. He was rushed to the hospital, aand that's the end, for now.

Next, we'll learn he's actually a killer zombie robot from the future who is trying to get together enough money for a plane ticket to the US so he can assassinate Morgan Freeman because Shawshank Redemption is the cause of all the evils of the future...

...and I should go do something else now.
-B

Moving advice

2004-08-22T19:35:00.000-04:00

How to pack a hippo, in case you ever needed to.

-B

Not-so Light Reading

2004-08-22T19:14:00.000-04:00

Fear Itself is, in my opinion, a great op-ed piece about living in a world where terrorism is a constant threat.

And it's entirely non-political, so don't worry.
-B

Who needs an alarm clock when you have...

2004-08-21T11:53:00.000-04:00

... A STRONG THUNDERSTORM IN ULSTER AND DUTCHESS COUNTIES...

AT 1129 AM EDT... NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE DOPPLER RADAR INDICATED A THUNDERSTORM CAPABLE OF PRODUCING... SMALL HAIL... WINDS IN EXCESS OF 40 MPH... .AND VERY HEAVY RAIN. THIS STORM WAS LOCATED 6 MILES SOUTHEAST OF WALLKILL... OR ABOUT OVER WALDEN... AND MOVING EAST AT 45 MPH.

THE THUNDERSTORM WILL BE NEAR... MARLBORO AND FISHKILL BY 1140 AM EDT WAPPINGERS FALLS... MYERS CORNER AND RED OAKS MILL BY 1145 AM EDT HOPEWELL JUNCTION BY 1150 AM EDT 6 MILES WEST OF WINGDALE BY NOON EDT

This is what I wake up to this morning. BANG! BOOM! I love east coast thunderstorms. They're so dramatic.

-B

Overdue

2004-08-20T21:54:00.000-04:00

Guess it's time I posted this.

As of yesterday at 12 noon, I'm back at Vassar. I have a largeish single on the third floor of my dorm that I am in the process of converting into a home. So far, it's working.

I work patrol all week, then it's back to classes. There will be further updates as more stuff happens. Right now, nothing's happening. Makes sense, doesn't it?

-B

2004-08-11T09:31:00.000-04:00

6:29 AM - Dead. It's dead. battery is unhooked. I am going to sleep.

Vassar Girl, if you're reading this, I'll call you the second I get up. Whenever that is.

-B

2004-08-11T08:46:00.000-04:00

5:44 AM - Still awake. Sun is up. Car still running.

-B

Fuckity Fuck Fuck.

2004-08-11T07:50:00.000-04:00

So. You want to hear about MY night?

6:00 PM - go to work. The two midshift guys slack off and do absolutely dick until it's time to leave, and then they clock out five minutes early.

7:57 PM - Go on break. Down to starbucks for the nightly coffee and cigarette.

8:23 PM - Figure it's about time to get back; get in the car and head towards work.

8:26 PM - Park in the lot. Attempt to turn off the car.

See, here's where it gets interesting. Did anyone catch the word "attempt"?

8:26:30 PM - Come to the realization that the car WILL NOT TURN OFF.

Well, fuck.

8:29 PM - Call the Great Sage and Resident Mechanic. Advice is to buy a can of WD-40 and spray the starter until it turns.

8:30 PM - WD-40 acquired, after the pissant little bankcard machine at the drugstore denies it twice. Mind you, car is still running in lot at this point.

8:32 PM - Back in work lot, spraying down starter. No dice.

8:37 PM - Give up on WD-40, smoke three more cigarettes, wait for call from GS&RM (see above).

9:15 PM - Definitely late for work. Drive the car home, where GS&RM can take a look at it without being too far from Small Sibling. I take the Blazer back to work, finish out the night in usual form.

1:30 AM - Car is still running. I am instructed to stay awake until the car dies, and then go outside and unhook the battery cables, so at least they will be saved.

4:25 AM - GS&RM reports that she smells burning. I'd better go take the car around the block a few dozen times, let the engine cool itself off and burn some more gas.

4:28 AM - The car surges, jumps, loses power. It's running out of gas, finally. I cruise home with it still running. Key still will not turn.

4:57 AM - Motherfucker STILL has not run out of gas. It only had a quarter tank in there to begin with, and it's been running for nearly NINE HOURS STRAIGHT now.

4:58 AM - Story is not over, but we've arrived at the current time. I am now nursing the blisters I gave myself trying to turn that goddamned key for an hour. Right on the side of the knuckle. Bastard.

There will be further updates on this situation, when they arise. For now, I'm going to down some more caffeine and pray to Chevy that this thing just dies a quiet death in my driveway, and soon.

-B

You Have Bad Taste in Music

2004-08-09T16:50:00.000-04:00

You Have Bad Taste in Music - now Go Home.

-B

Think iMac. Think iPod.

2004-08-05T05:43:00.000-04:00

The Apple Product Cycle - Think the same thing, over and over and over again.

DISCLAIMER: This may be less humorous to those less geeky than Vassar Boy. However, traces of humor should still be evident if you've ever seen anyone holding an iPod - and that means you.

-B

Two Great Tastes that Should've Stayed the Hell Apart

2004-08-05T05:26:00.000-04:00

Hello de Milo...

I'm not sure what to say to that.
-B

Updates...

2004-08-04T16:33:00.000-04:00

...will be added when there is something worth posting.

-B

2004-07-27T18:04:00.000-04:00

What happens when you run out of shoulders to cry on?

-B

Curve Ball

2004-07-23T12:45:00.000-04:00

This game is great.

Simple, but great.
-B

buy a different book

2004-07-20T13:59:00.000-04:00

English as she is spoke is the absolute worst phrasebook ever written. The author, a Portugese man who knew very little english, was using a Portugese-French dictionary and a French-English phrasebook.

Just read a few. Too many will drive you insane, but hey.

-B

Magical! Oh so Magical.

2004-07-20T00:36:00.000-04:00

Weebls Stuff presents Magical Trevor. Yeah yeah.

2004-07-15T04:03:00.000-04:00

I miss Vassar Girl.

I'll see her Friday, but I still miss her.

-B

I know what I said about politics, but...

2004-07-12T19:02:00.000-04:00

I had to link this. I never thought of it that way.

Someone, please kill the FMA. Kill it dead. DEAD, I TELL YOU!

It's fine that you elder generation folks don't like gay marriage. My generation, we're okay with it. And writing into the constitution that it's banned will only make us put you in really awful nursing homes.

Please remember that.

-B

everybody gothic dance!

2004-07-12T18:59:00.000-04:00

everybody gothic dance! a follow-up to Morrisseydance.

Speaking of which, guess who linked to mozdance? with the awesome quote "some memes are bigger than others".

click here if you don't get it.

-B

Too Much Coffee Man

2004-07-11T05:01:00.000-04:00

Starbucks Everywhere is the site of Winter, the guy who's hell-bent on visiting EVERY starbucks store EVERYWHERE.

The featured Starbucks is the one a mile from my grandparents' house in Wayne, PA - it's the only round store anywhere, to Winter's knowledge.

-B

Places you can read crap about me, if you're into that.

2004-07-10T20:31:00.000-04:00

waferbaby profile

blogger profile

I also have a profile on orkut, but I'm realizing how little I actually care about meeting friends online. The only people I really talk to online are people I already know through some other source.

Right, off to work with me. Coffee and cigarettes for dinner tonight.

Just kidding. Mostly.

-B

Best link of the day-- no, make that the week.

2004-07-10T20:12:00.000-04:00

Everyone drop what you're doing RIGHT NOW and go to MorrisseyDance.

Yeah, I saw it, and immediately thought of Vassar Girl. Waiting on a reaction.

-B

Wow.

2004-07-10T15:32:00.000-04:00

The Incredibly Evil Machine: Not sure if it's evil, but it's certainly funny.

For all zero of my high-school emo-kid readers.

2004-07-09T14:43:00.000-04:00

how to dress emo 2.0

Some People Need Jobs

2004-07-08T15:59:00.000-04:00

A short version of Spider-man 2, entirely in legos.

For someone special

2004-07-05T00:45:00.000-04:00

It's funny what you can get people to do for a gmail invite.

I love you, Vassar Girl.
-b

...

2004-07-04T21:42:00.000-04:00

I've succeeded in making a mess out of the greatest thing that's ever happened to me. What's worse, I don't know if there's anything I can do about it before the end of August.

Imagine your life as your most prized possession, sitting about five feet in front of you. Now, a glass wall comes down between you and it, and something happens that shatters this possession into a billion pieces. You have a feeling that, with a lot of work and a little luck, you could mend it back together, but you're not allowed to even begin to do that for another two months. In the meantime, it's staring you in the face, affecting everything else that you do. Eventually, you realize that it was YOU who set these events in motion, and you have no one to blame but yourself - both for the glass wall, and the shattering of your life. All your fault. It was you who lowered that wall. It was you who shattered your life.

I'm behind that glass wall. That is my life.

In about twelve days, they're going to let me into a room with my life for a weekend or so, and let me start gluing a few of those pieces back together - maybe enough that I remember what it is I'm doing, and why it is that I'm doing it. Then the wall comes down again. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I won't feel so terrible after the weekend of the 17th. But I certainly do feel terrible now. Like I ripped my OWN heart out, and stomped on it MYSELF. I can't - and won't - blame anyone for this. It was me.

I want to smoke and drink and scream and quit my job and lay in bed and cry. I feel terrible. It's a horrible feeling, knowing you've managed to ruin, perhaps forever, something so rare and beautiful that it only comes around once in a lifetime, if at all. Knowing that you've given someone you love a reason to cry. Knowing that you've made them feel unimportant, sidelined, ordinary. Knowing that you've broken almost every promise you've ever made them, sometimes more than once. Then you've promised things would be different, and yet you did it again.

I'm not going to address this to anyone, and I don't think I have to. I just want a chance to fix things. Give me a tube of glue and some time. No, there's no reason to trust me when I say that this time will be different. No, there's no reason to believe anything I tell you. Words don't do it anymore. I need to prove to you that I mean what I say, and maybe then you can trust me again.

I don't expect you to believe me. I'm asking for a second chance I don't deserve. If you don't want to give it to me, that's okay. And if I don't do what I say I will, I want you to leave, because you deserve so much better than what I'm giving you now. I want you to feel beautiful again. To feel loved again. To feel important, special, wonderful. The way you should feel, because you are all of those things.

And I apologize for all the times you told me this and I didn't listen. I'm listening now. What I'm hearing makes me sad, but I'm listening.

And I'm ready to make things better.
-b

A few quick updates

2004-07-04T15:59:00.000-04:00

One: the site is now searchable. Google SiteSearch is located at the bottom of the page.

Two: The archives have been collapsed into a pulldown menu, leaving the right-side navbar open for other content (like a profile, pictures, etc)

Three: I'm not posting about politics anymore. It pisses too many people off.

-B

tamponhenge.co.uk

2004-07-03T20:48:00.000-04:00

tamponhenge. Enough said.

-b

Things I've Heard Today:

2004-07-02T13:58:00.000-04:00

"Linux like wigwam. No windows, no Gates, Apache inside."

also, though, this is bad bad bad and I should not post it:

"Winning an argument on the internet is like winning the special olympics. You may have won, but you're still retarded."

Just let it be known that I do not endorse the above saying, nor do I condone any slur against the mentally handicapped. I just thought it was good for a chuckle for the three seconds one has before the brain kicks in and tells the rest of you how god-awful horrid that is.

-B

This Year's Best and Worst Album Covers

2004-07-02T05:13:00.000-04:00

USATODAY just won a few points. The Cure's new album is at the #1 spot in the Best of, and Morrissey's at number six, with the article's priceless caption reading "I'm Back! I'm Morrissey! And I'm Armed!"

-B

Funniest Picture you'll ever see. Well, funniest non-edited picture.

2004-07-02T05:09:00.000-04:00

SUV takes plunge in Backyard Swimming Pool

Honey..?

2004-06-30T18:31:00.000-04:00

Honey, quick, take a look - the neighbor's kid went and built himself a motherfucking FLAMETHROWER (out of PVC pipe and lots of free time).

Potential foreign invaders beware!
-B

Positive Reporting!

2004-06-28T13:48:00.000-04:00

Iraqi Sovreignty has been yielded to the Iraqi people two days early. So not only were we running ahead of schedule, but we caught any possible terrorists off-guard and averted the threat of attacks on the big day.

Go, independent Iraq, go!

Now for breakfast.
-B

As opposed to analog commissars?

2004-06-26T14:40:00.000-04:00

James Lileks again, with more Nazi equivalence: ...today we had something different; today Al Gore upped the ante. He coined a new term for the Internet critics of his positions: digital brownshirts. Yes, yes, it’s over the top. But it’s not the sentiment that raises eyebrows, it’s the position of the person who’s saying it. We don’t expect presidential candidates past or present to indulge in Usenet flame-war lingo. We don’t expect serious party elders to call the other side Nazis, and for good reason: it’s obscene. The brownshirts were evil. The brownshirts kicked the Jews in the streets and made the little kids put their hands on their heads as they stumbled off to the trains. The brownshirts were not interested in refuting arguments. They were interested in killing the people who dared argue at all.

Rule number one of debate: Make a Nazi comparison, lose all credibility. Unless, of course, the debate is about Nazis.

-B

...But Al Gore Invented Brown Shirts.

2004-06-26T13:21:00.000-04:00

BostonHerald.com - National News: Gore slams Bush `Brown Shirts': WASHINGTON - Former Vice President Al Gore yesterday unleashed another verbal assault on President Bush, comparing him to Richard Nixon and his staff to Nazi "Brown Shirts.''

Ahem, um, Al? Maybe you're not a frequent reader, but we have this thing where you mention the Nazis and instantly lose. So do most people with brain stems.

I'm tired of the cheap moral equivalence between the Bush administration and the Third Reich. This is not because I agree wth everything George Bush has said and done. This is not because I'm voting for Bush. This is because comparing a great evil like Hitler and a minor evil like Bush trivializes the greater evil.

If Hitler becomes a catchphrase, a tool, then he's no longer a historical lesson.

-B

Happy Magic Picnic Day

2004-06-26T12:38:00.000-04:00

Courtesy of Girls Are Pretty. I just hope that one day I can be this good.

-B

Updates

2004-06-26T03:44:00.000-04:00

Regarding my extensive political post below:

Separation of church and state: I forgot to mention something. My example was one of state invoking church. There have been news stories recently about the Catholic hierarchy refusing to grant communion to politicians who support abortion. This is just as bad, people! If it's bad to go one way, it's just as bad to go the other. That should've been a condition to our Constitution's freedom of religion clause: If any given religion attempts to gain direct power over politicians, their tax shelter disappears. Shame on you.

Taxes: I mentioned percentages. Well, here's one for you: the same goes for federal financial aid. I know there are people at my school whose families are paying a disproportionate amount of their income (nearly 50%) to finance school. This, my friends, is bullshit. On top of the tax burden (which, in the spirit of arbitrary numbers, we'll call 17 percent), a family should have to pay no more than an additional thirteen percent of their income for school. After you're shelling out nearly a third of your income every year, I think you deserve a break.

So remember: Vassarboy for President, 2020*
-B

* - 2020 is the year I turn 35, which is the first year I'm eligible to run. Otherwise I'd campaign tomorrow. It would sure simplify my vote in the Fall, wouldn't it?

From the Deapartment of Fair and Balanced

2004-06-26T01:45:00.000-04:00

Silflay Hraka makes the case for Kerry. For Kerry. Kerry. In favor.

And he does it well - well, better than anything I've heard so far in favor of the guy.

-B

When an iPod isn't enough

2004-06-25T22:45:00.000-04:00

For those of us with iPods - how often do we wish for a way to share all that kickin'-ass-music with the rest of the world? Wish there was an easier way to hook up a set of speakers? Well, check out what has been dubbed the iPAL. It's an excellent sounding self-powered portable speaker. And it's wicked cool.

thanks to kottke for the link.

-B

It Had To Be Done Eventually

2004-06-25T15:22:00.000-04:00

I've been called a lot of things because of my views. Sometimes they've been true, sometimes they haven't. Sometimes people assume things about me because of views they THINK I hold, when I really don't.

So I'm going to clarify all of these things, and I'm going to do it now, right here. I'm not going to assign a party or ideological label to myself; I'm just going to let you see what goes through my head and judge for yourself.

So here we go. Topics are bold. Closing comments or summations/main ideas are italicized.

Abortion: I'm for abortion. Notice I did not say "pro-choice". I'm a bit upset with the labels "pro-choice" and "pro-life"; who among us is not in favor of life? Who among us does not want to choose? I feel that abortion is necessary in many cases. While I don't necessarily agree with every abortion or the rationale behind choosing abortion, I don't feel that I am any more qualified to decide what is right than anyone else, and I refuse to push my opinion on others. To paraphrase, I may not understand your view or your actions, but I will certainly defend your right to hold that view and take those actions.

Death Penalty: In most cases, a resounding NO. However, there are some people who are never going to be reformed or rehabilitated - for example, Charlie Manson. In extreme cases, I feel that a sentence of death is not too much to ask for. However, if we keep capital punishment, we're going to need to reform it in a big way. For anyone ending up on Death Row, guilt must be proven beyond even a shred of reasonable doubt, and if any new evidence EVER comes up, it MUST be considered immediately. All cases must be dna-tested. If our government is going to kill someone, they'd damn well better be sure, and it had better be for a good reason.

Affirmative Action: Against. Hiring practices and college admissions should be race-blind. A common argument against this is that many minority populations are underprivileged; I will address this in the education section. Once we've fixed the education system, we can finally get rid of affirmative action once and for all.

Gay marriage and homosexual rights: For, and for. Sexual preference should play no role in a person's social status. However - and here comes the part that some people won't like - I feel that Gavin Newsom (the mayor of San Francisco) and the mayor of New Paltz, NY should not be surprised if they're brought up on charges. Yes, they interpreted the laws of their city and state to say that homosexuals should be allowed to marry. I respect and admire their courage. However, they did break the law - it is the job of the judicial system to interpret law. This brings me to my final point on the matter - the Constitution is no place to regulate marriage. I am firmly against the Federal Marriage Amendment; I am just as firmly against any amendment in favor of homosexual marriage.

Gay marriage will become an accepted societal element in the next seventy years; I can almost guarantee it. When my generation and the one after it are looking after the country, it won't seem like such a huge leap. We've grown up around homosexuals. We see them as people, not aberrations. We'll make it happen. In the meantime, all we can do is appeal to the older generations to make it work faster.

Taxes / Economy: I don't think anyone should be taxed beyond a certain percentage of their income level. I don't know what that percentage is yet - I'll let you know when I find the magic number. However, this sort of tax structure ensures that no one is disproportionately taxed because they have more or less money. For the most part, people who have more money - the "top 1%" - have it because they've earned it. That top one percent can pay well over 35% of their income in taxes. It needs to be averaged out. Taxes need to be not only affordable, but fair.

As for the economy, it can take care of itself. I want to minimize government legislation in economy and business - enough so that the customer doesn't get screwed and monopolies don't form; not so much that the government plays anything more than an interested but passive role.

Separation of Church and State: Keep your church out of my state. A few short words about this. One, I don't care about the words "under God" in the pledge. Whatever happens to them, I don't care. They're not traditional, they're not particularly offensive (at least to me). Two, I don't care if the president is a religious man. It's okay that he mentions God in his speeches. He shouldn't have to hide his beliefs - after all, he is just a man. At the same time, I see the FMA (see above) as an attempt to outlaw what many religions see as a "sin" - and that, my friends, would qualify as mixing church and state. Cut that shit out right this second. Public figures are allowed to be religious, and they are allowed to express those religions in ways that do not influence their legislative agenda or decisions.

Education: One of two things needs to happen. Option one is this: teacher pay needs to be raised, and the bottom 50% of schools (this means schools in each city, districts in each state, and states in the country) need to be pulled up to the average. Standards need to be raised and enforced. We should offer incentives to prospective teachers, and make those incentives even better if the teachers offer to go to an inner-city or understaffed school. I am aware that this costs lots and lots of money, which is what makes it so difficult. Option two is school vouchers. (waits for cries of "republican" to die down) I am no education expert. I actually know very little about the subject; the only things I know I learned first-hand after going through the public school systems of New Jersey (third in the nation for expenditure per student [$11,103] and average teacher salary [$54,158]) and Nevada, which is now 45th in the nation for expenditure per student*. When I got to Nevada, we spent all of freshman and some of sophomore year repeating things I already knew from seventh and eighth grade. I see school vouchers as (1) offering the public an alternative to the underfunded public school system, and (2) forcing local and state government to WAKE UP and improve their schools before they lose all of their students. But again, I'm not sure if that would work. I think it would.

The War: This is where I usually come under fire. I think we were justified in going to Afghanistan and removing the Taliban. I also think we were entirely justified in going to Iraq and removing Saddam. I feel that certain facts are often forgotten or overlooked when talking about the war and the President's handling thereof. One, at no time did he say that Saddam Hussein was an imminent threat. He said that Saddam could *become* an imminent threat, and that we had to act before he did. Two, there is no arguing whether the Iraqi people are better off now than they were before the US invaded. Things are better in Iraq than ever before. The new national government is shaping up nicely. Moqtada Al-Sadr has surrendered and now endorses the new government. He even says he may seek to run for office, one day. The kidnappings and beheadings are acts of desperation, and the kidnappers' attempts to justify them by saying "these acts are revenge for Abu Ghraib" are bullshit.

I'll try not to tangent too far on this. Abu Ghraib was bad. Those soldiers need to be punished. Allegations that this reaches as far up as Rumsfeld need ot be investigated. However, this is not indicative that the entire war effort is a failure, nor is it as bad as the media has made it out to be. Likewise, we need to remember who we're dealing with here. These are the people that killed Daniel Pearl and beheaded Nick Berg, Paul Johnson, and Kim Sun-Il on camera - and then gave the footage to a TV station. I could tangent again on the fact that the first three victims mentioned were Jewish, but that's a post for another day.

End of tangent. In short, Saddam was a bad man who killed lots of people. He is now a bad man awaiting trial. His removal has contributed to increased stability in the middle east and a more positive global outlook.

Anti-Semitism: Maybe it's not a post for another day. It exists, and it's getting worse, and we need to do something about it - as people, not as the United States. We've fallen into this paranoid hate trap before - with Chinese, Irish, African-Americans, and Italians in the 1800's, Japanese during WWII, Catholics (during JFK's presidency, there were fears he'd obey the pope instead of his constituents), and (of course) Jews. There was never a time when this hate had any basis in reality. Now is no different. Wake up.

International Relations / United Nations: The investigation into the UN Oil-For-Food scandal needs to get more attention in the press, and it needs to move faster. So does the case about alleged sexual abuse in refugee camps by UN peacekeepers. The problem with asking permission from the "Global Community" and getting UN approval for everything is that The United Nations, as an organization, is corrupt to its very core. The place *bleeds* money, and no one knows where it goes. There is evidence of French participation in the scam - highly-placed government officials accepting millions of barrels of oil from Saddam in exchange for favors and trade, in violation of the sanctions.

I don't hate France, and I'm not sure what ot think of the UN. I'm not sure if it's salvageable or not. However, there's evidence of corruption in both France and the UN, so if we don't get their seal of approval on everything we do, I don't think it's a big deal. And in general, I think a global approach is usually best. In this instance, however, it was pretty clear (to me, at least) that whether the UN and Europe agreed with us or not, Saddam needed to go. Now that he's gone, it's great that we have their support. I'm glad Bush went back to them.

And, finally...

Election 2004: Really, really sketchy on this one. I think Bush has made a lot of critical policy mistakes and is cozying up to the Religious Right. I don't like the FMA. I definitely don't like Ashcroft and Cheney. I'm glad "Slam-Dunk!" Tenet is gone, though I think Bush should have fired him before he quit. However, I think he's handled the war quite well, and the speech that he made to the Naval College (?) really impressed me. I was glad to hear that he had a master plan for Iraq, because for a while it looked like he was just floundering around. I'm afraid, though, that if we put him back in office, he could do some really, REALLY stupid things - like pass the FMA, attack another middle-eastern country before we're stable in Iraq**, or choke to death on a pretzel.

On the other hand, Something about John Kerry just bugs me. Maybe it's how I never feel like I'm getting a straight answer out of him, as exemplified by the whole "Medals/Ribbons thrown over the fence were mine, but not". Maybe it's how while he's been campaigning, he's managed to miss 80% of his Senate votes, thereby failing to do the *last* job he was elected to. Maybe it's that it's Kerry, not Bush, who gets the most and biggest donations from wealthy Americans. Or maybe it's just that he doesn't feel genuine to me. I'm not really sure what it is. But I know I don't like him.

So as far as 2004 goes, am I voting? Probably not. If I vote for Bush, I'm indirectly backing the FMA. If I vote for Kerry, I'll worry about Iraq. It's tough.

I hope this has cleared things up about where I stand on the political scale. If anything, I'm definitely not a Republican. At the same time, I'm too much of a hawk to be called a democrat, and too opinionated to be a moderate.

I guess I'm just Bill. But you knew that already, didn't you?

-B

* Louisiana has risen to number 37. Congratulations, Vassar Girl.
** I think the time may come when we have to do something about Iran or possibly North Korea, but I don't think it'll be any time soon. We need to stabilize Iraq and Afghanistan first.

Kottke on Moore

2004-06-24T18:32:00.000-04:00

Fahrenheit 9/11 (kottke.org on movies)

Posting this makes me realize I'm going to have to do a post about "The Issues" (note pretentious capitals) and where I stand. I've had several people criticize / chastise me about opinions that I don't hold, but they've assumed I did. Here's one I do hold: Michael Moore is as much a good, truthful filmmaker as Saddam Hussein was a good, truthful leader.

While Kottke and I don't often agree, I'm happy to report that he sees what I have seen: The movie is about Michael Moore's view of the world, not anything else. He's preaching to the choir on this one - and apparently he does it well.

Just don't count on me singing along.
-B

Lileks fisks Reed

2004-06-24T17:54:00.000-04:00

James Lileks tears apart a review of Michael Moore's Fahrenheit 9/11 in Today's Bleat: "I’ve said this before, but I’ll repeat myself. You have Bush. You have Saddam.

One is a meglomanical dictator with a small moustache who killed millions, gassed ethnic minorities, annexed a neighbor state and paid underlings to kill Jews.

The other is Hitler.

I know I'm an unsophsiticated partisan blinded by ideology, but something about that equation just strikes me wrong."

In case you haven't gathered, I Hate-with-a-capital-H Michael Moore. He's a greedy, fat, rich, white American who forces his extremist opinions on others - and he just happens to be the poster boy for those who Hate-with-a-capital-H greedy, fat, rich, white Americans who force their extremist opinions on others.

The Movie Cliches List

2004-06-24T04:41:00.000-04:00

The Movie Cliches List. Enough said.

-B

Greatest Film Ever Made?

2004-06-23T03:52:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about this. Why is it that Citizen Kane pops up at number one every time someone mentions great film? Yes, granted, it changed the way films were made. It changed several Big Ideas (note pretentious capitals) about film and moviemaking. But does this necessarily make it the greatest ever?

A Google search of "greatest film ever made" makes a few things clear to me. One, it's debatable. Two, it's only debatable by those who are pretentious enough to argue that they can see cinema for its "Art" as opposed to entertainment value. This is a dangerous path to take, I think; shouldn't great art be obvious to most anyone who sees it?

Most "great art" could be called great by a public consensus as well as a critical one. The Statue of David is great sculpture. The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel is a great painting. Most buildings at Vassar are great architecture. Beethoven's Ninth is a great composition. Paradise Lost is great literature. However, while the public would argue that Star Wars and Reservoir Dogs are great film, critics would not.

So why is film so different? Is it because it takes so many different senses to truly appreciate film? Is it because it is such a new art form? Is it because the end product is dependent on so much? I believe this last reason. Some would say that because Citizen Kane used new techniques in conjunction with a good story and solid acting, it is and always will be a Great film. Meanwhile, I see a film like Seven Samurai and think that since the story is still engrossing after all this time, and the acting so well done, that any limitations in directing or production aside it is a Great film*.

Not too many people would argue about Seven Samurai, though. It's up there with Citizen Kane on the List of Films You Must Respect. Of course, if it's a less acclaimed movie (like High Fidelity or Boondock Saints or any number of others), there might be more of an argument. I think these are Great films because they set out to do something, and they do it well. While they may not be significant in the History of Cinema (again, note Pretentious Capitals), they are significant in countless lives. For two hours, they made untold numbers of people empathize with their characters and lose themselves with the film.

That, I feel, is what makes great cinema. Note the distinction here between Great cinema and Significant cinema - you'll get no argument from me that Citizen Kane is one of the most Significant films in the History of Cinema.

But it is not the greatest. That honor, I feel, is reserved for one film and one alone:
This one.

Goodnight.
-B

*"I once asked Akira Kurosawa why he had chosen to frame a shot in Ran in a particular way. His answer was that if he had panned the camera one inch to the left, the Sony factory would be sitting there exposed, and if he had panned an inch to the right, we would see the airport - neither of which belonged in a period movie. Only the person who's made the movie knows what goes into the decisions that result in any piece of work." (Sidney Lumet in Making Movies, 1995)

God Bless HBO

2004-06-23T00:20:00.000-04:00

...or cinemax, or showtime, or whatever channel it was on: Today I saw Equilibrium, a dystopic film that combines elements of Fahrenheit-451, Brave New World, and 1984.

Only with guns. And swords. And bitchin' action sequences.

It's one of those movies with a cult following, like Boondock Saints - you either love it, or hate it. I loved it.

Someone, please, send it along?

The sad part is, my theater had this flick while I worked there, and I still didn't see it. What a bad-assed movie. Hot damn. Maybe I'll get lucky and the video store (my new job) will have it.

-B

For Those Who Haven't Been There Before

2004-06-22T15:04:00.000-04:00

Jason's rules for the NYC subway (kottke.org)

-B

Hey, here's a real post for a change.

2004-06-20T14:24:00.000-04:00

Things I have Received in Exchange for a Gmail Invitation:

- A round of drinks purchased and toasted in my name in a London pub
- twelve vegetarian recipes
- a pledge to eat an insane amount of carbs
- 36 cookies
- a stray dog, adopted into a good home
- another 12 cookies
- an award-winning cookie recipe
- several hours of volunteer work at a homeless shelter
- a complete ebook of the Lord of the Rings series
- several $1 donations to gmailswap to help pay the bandwidth bill
- the ritual sacrifice of a windows 98 CD (I have pictures)
- $30 in grocery store gift certificates given to a homeless shelter
- still more volunteer work (I'm losing track at this point)
- a message written across someone's forehead and subsequently photographed
- and, of course, several were given out as freebies.

It looks like Google's getting ready to go public with gmail. At first, I had no invitations to hand out. I was given three. A week later, I was given three more. Three days later, I got another five; the next day, another five; the next day, another six. I just got another twelve between yesterday and today. The same thing is happening to others. It almost looks like Google's stemming the flow of registration requests by slowing it down through invitation. Look for Gmail to go public in the next two weeks, or the month at most.

-B

Daniel Wolff: Why Iraqi Detainees Should Sue Michael Moore

2004-06-19T18:32:00.000-04:00

Read it. It's interesting. Slanted? Yes. but interesting.

-B

Fahrenheit WTF(?)

2004-06-19T17:59:00.000-04:00

Ray bradbury, the 83-year-old author of Fahrenheit 451, is demanding that Michael Moore change the title of his upcoming film, Fahrenheit 9/11. According to Bradbury, Moore never asked permission to use the obvious title derivative. Bradbury is quoted as saying "That's not his novel, that's not his title, so he shouldn't have done it."

While you can't copyright a title, it's also considered bad form to just take it. Whatever you think of Michael Moore and/or Ray Bradbury, it's an interesting story.

-B

Oh yeah? Well, take this.

2004-06-18T17:38:00.000-04:00

I reject your rejection. So there.

-B

Oh my.

2004-06-17T18:24:00.000-04:00

Cowuuube.

Yeah, it's weird, just watch it.

From the department of Forgotten Bookmarks

2004-06-17T18:04:00.000-04:00

A short passage from George Orwell's Politics And The English Language: I am going to translate a passage of good English into modern English of the worst sort. Here is a well-known verse from Ecclesiastes:

I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

Here it is in modern English:

Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.

If you have a few minutes, go ahead and read it. If you're a college student, compare it to your class reading.

-B

I am now hiding under the bed.

2004-06-16T03:54:00.000-04:00

Be careful, m'lad, Here there be Sock Puppets! Yar.

-B

RTFM

2004-06-15T18:48:00.000-04:00

RTFM is, of course, short for Read The Fscking Manual. In other words, do some research before you waste my time with a dumb-ass question. "The only stupid question is one not asked?" Bullshit.

Well, RTFM has been replaced with FGI - short for Fscking Google It. Same concept, different name.

-B

I can't believe I'm saying this...

2004-06-15T18:39:00.000-04:00

...but here's an excellent article on ESPN.com about the 10-year anniversary of the O.J. trial.

if you have time, read it all the way through. It's worth it.
-B

From the deaprtment of Misleading Headlines

2004-06-15T13:33:00.000-04:00

No, I'm not giving it away; you're going to have to click on it.

-B

Elderly Floridians OF DEATH

2004-06-13T18:31:00.000-04:00

Local10.com - Impatient Husband Crashes Car Into Store

Scary only because it's true.
-B

The Two Things Game

2004-06-12T18:14:00.000-04:00

The Two Things is based on the principle that for every discipline, whatever it is, there are really only two things you need to know - everything else is application of those two things. Here's some I made up:

The Two Things About Movie Theaters:
1. The customer is an idiot.
2. If something - anything - goes wrong, whether that be stale popcorn or a late film start, it is YOUR fault, even if you're just on register.

The Two Things About Vassar Kids:
1. Be rich, act poor.
2. Drinking on a Wednesday night is perfectly acceptable.

The Two Things About Being an Older Sibling:
1. Heckle the shit out of your younger sibs.
2. If anyone else attempts (1), strangle them.

More later, and not necessarily of these. And if anyone else has more, put 'em in the comments.
-B

That's All, Folks

2004-06-11T12:17:00.000-04:00

RollingStone.com reports that Warner Music Group not only laid off a thousand employees, but they're getting ready to cut almost half of their artists...

...including Stereolab. Those jerks. Well, at least they won't have too much trouble getting a contract somewhere else.

-B

your personality has come home

2004-06-11T01:18:00.000-04:00

what decade does your personality live in?

quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd

News from Vegas

2004-06-10T04:37:00.000-04:00

Well, not news, per se, as much as it is just a personal update.

I got a job at the video store - and an instant promotion to Shift Supervisor, so I start at $6.50 hourly. Not bad, seeing as how I left the movie theater at that pay rte, and that was only after a raise and a promotion. Plus, I get free rentals.

I've been spending a lot of time (when I'm not looking for a job or ironing my clothes) watching season 3 of CSI on DVD. I've noticed that the music has been greatly improved since the last two seasons.

"How, B?"
Glad you asked. Episode 306, "Abra Cadaver", played Nine Inch Nails; Episode 309, "Blood Lust", played Radiohead's "Everything in its Right Place"; and in Ep 311 "Recipe for Murder" there was a Smiths/Morrissey reference to the album "Meat is Murder".

Might I add that CSI has some of the most velveeta-tastic cheesy episode names ever. Duly noted? Good.

Thank you and goodnight! We love you all.
-B

An Offer

2004-06-09T15:50:00.000-04:00

I now have 3 gmail invites available to whoever can think of a creative reason why they should get one. Limit one per customer -- and act now, because I'm also posting this to Gmailswap.com where they get snatched up at the speed of light.

Good luck.
-B

Painful goodness

2004-06-06T14:36:00.000-04:00

Shards O' Glass freezer pops.

-B

In relation to that last post...

2004-06-04T18:28:00.000-04:00

How to post about Nazis and get away with it - the Godwin's Law FAQ.

I'm surprised I've never heard of Godwin's Law before. I guess I'm not old-school enough.

-B

Things I Wish I Learned in Forensics

2004-06-04T18:12:00.000-04:00

How to Win Arguments, although people won't like you later on.

-B

Answering my question...

2004-06-04T12:17:00.000-04:00

...about Hello Kitty.

-B

Those folks at the movie theater...

2004-06-03T18:30:00.000-04:00

...are SUCH dickheads.

I worked there for over a year, got a raise or two and a promotion, and left on excellent terms with the management. Now, I put in a rehire application, and what do they do? They say that "If we get to it, it'll be in a week or two."

Well, FUCK YOU! I only put up with your shit there for over a YEAR. I worked on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. And this is how you repay me? By brushing me off? Well, fuck that. Let some other poor shithead work until two in the morning, assholes. Keep your shitty job. And kiss my ass.

-B